Fall 2006-Winter 2007

How Farmers Should Live

Colonel Robert Ingersoll's Speech at Penn Yan, 1889

Thousands Listen and Admire

The Hammmondsport Herald , Wednesday, October 2, 1889

Five thousand people gathered on the grounds of the Yates County Agricultural Society to listen to the address of Col. Robert G. Ingersoll last Wednesday afternoon. The speaker was introduced by Hon. Hanford Struble, who referred pleasantly to the fact that the village of Dresden in Yates County was the birthplace of Colonel Ingersoll although he left that place fifty-five years ago at the age of 91 days.

Colonel Ingersoll spoke as follows:—

"First of all let us congratulate each other on this beautiful day — a day as though the air had burst into blossom, like a perfect day in June. Let us congratulate each other that we are fellow citizens; fellow citizens of the grandest republic that has ever been instituted.

"The people of the United States own a farm. We are the greatest farmers in the world. In our farms there are two thousand million acres, the finest acres the sun shines upon. This is our farm. In a few years the people of the United States took possession of this splendid domain. Unless you have thought about it, you have no idea of the pluck, the industry, the courage, the love, the patriotism and the ambition that it requires to take possession of a domain like this. You may talk about the heroism of the Revolutionary war, of the war of 1812, of the war with Mexico, and of the civil war; you may talk of the heroism displayed in these wars, but it will not compare with the heroism of the plower, who left the Atlantic wave and was not satified until he traversed the continent and reached the Pacific coast. If you think of the acres that were cleared, of the trees that were felled, of the fences that were constructed, you will have some idea of the labors, the trials and the work which the pioneer accomplished.

"I think of the immense development of the railroads of the United States. There have been enough railroads built in this country to extend seven times around the globe. Think of the number of locomotives; think of the industry, courage and anbition that built these roads. There are telegraph wires enough in the United States to make fifty lines around the earth. We have the finest common school system in the world and the boy who reaches 21 years of age and the girl 18, without knowing how to read, write and cipher, does not deserve to know anything.

"I want you to know something of this country. Here we govern ourselves, we make our own laws, levy our own taxes and elect our own officers. The president and the constable are only our servants; they are not our masters. Whatever we give to the church, we give voluntarily in this country. It is only what you wish to give, it is not taken from you in this country. As the result of this freedom and this industry, we have, as our national wealth, seventy thousand million dollars, $70,000,000,000! When I think of this sum, as near dead broke as I am, it makes me dizzy. [Laughter] We have 65,000,000 of people. Why and how is this prosperity? This is a country where mind has been a partner with muscle; brains and muscle have been in partnership. This has been the East and North and West. The problem of slavery was to do the least work in the longest possible time. When a man gets none of the profits of his labor, he will do as little work as possible. When a man takes his mind, his brains and his intelligence in partnership with his muscle and gains for himself the results of his labor, he will do the most possible work, in the least time.

"There is another reason for our wealth. In the Old World the man who worked the soil did not own it, and the man who owned it would not work it. It was disgraceful to work it, and the men who toiled were slaves and serfs, who had no interest in the land. In this country the men who tilled the earth owned the soil on which they labored. Did you ever stop to think how much we are indebted to the Indian? If there had been no Indians in this country, the kings and queens of the Old World would have divided the United States among their favorites and we should have had in the country today, lords, and dukes and all the nobility of the Old World. The kings and queens did try to give America to their favorites, but the favorites could not take America.

"When I was a farmer out West everything was left to chance and accident. There was no intelligent action and no care. There was plenty of work. We used to raise three or four hundred bushels of wheat, take it to market one or two hundred miles and sell if for 30 or 40 cents a bushel. I have seen the time when farmers would raise four bushels of potatoes for 25 cents and sell thirty three dozen eggs for $1. You say how cheap, but you have no idea how big that dollar was. You have no idea how little we had or how little we knew about farming. The farmer should never raise any wheat or corn to-day to sell. He should sell the horses and cattle and hogs and make the second profit himself. The same thing applies to grapes. The vineyardists should not sell their grapes; they should sell wine and make the second profit for themselves.

"The trouble has been for some years now, that the farmers' boys have left the farms. The great reason for this is the lonesomeness, the solitude of the farmer's life. Solitude is a good thing to read about, but a poor thing to enjoy unless it is like Irish solitude. Says the Irishman: 'My God! I love solitude when my girl is with me." [Laughter.]

"There is another objection to a farmer's life and that is getting up a 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning. No man ought to try to get ahead of nature in this way, wait until the sun has set the example. The farmer says he must get up at three o'clock and feed the cattle. Why doesn't he feed them more the night before and let them sleep until the sun rises? There is nothing so healthy and refreshing as sleep. Plenty of rest and plenty of sleep will make any man well and healthy and strong and happy.

"Another thing; The farmers ought to live better than anybody else; eat the best, sell the rest, and if the other fellow doesn't like it, let him go to work and raise the food for himself. Another thing that every farmer should have is hot and cold water in his house and a bathtub. They say cleanliness is next to Godliness. Cleanliness is a pretty hard thing to get next to, anyway. I want the farmers' wives to know how to cook. So few people even know how to cook. Anybody can make a lawyer. It don't take much of a man to make a President, but a good cook is the greatest thing on earth. I believe the doctrine of eternal punishment came from poor cooking. Dyspepsia is chiefly caused by poor cooks. I want to see the poeple in this world who work enjoy the benefits of their labor. There is something wrong when the workers go hungry and the shop rascals grow rich. I want the laborers to have sense.

"The first duty of man is to become self-supporting; his next duty is to help some one else. No man can respect himself who is a burden on society. Self-respect is something which must be earned by courage and ambition and honest endeavor. His next effort should be to help someone else. I don't believe there is a man in New York City who knows enough to own a million dollars. It is like rolling a big wheel down hill. Pretty soon the wheel takes you down hill. What would you think of a man who had five or six million hats and three or four million pairs of socks and forty million neckties? Then he must get up at three o'clock in the morning and get another necktie. I believe the men who have their millions of dollars of money are crazy. They are continuously striving for more. They want another necktie. I want this money divided. I want the people to own the land who work it. I do not want any landlords nor any tenants. This is the trouble with Ireland, and England and Scotland. In Scotland five families own three-fourths of the soil in the entire country. In this country we have the law of eminent domain, and if a railroad wants any man's land, it can have it by paying its value. I want it so that if one man has ten thousand acres and another man wants to buy a farm of forty acres, he can get it by the verdict of twelve honest men, who will give the owner the full value of his land.

"There is another hobby of mine: Suppose a man steals a few dollars. He is sent to the penitentiary. If he steals millions, he is usually sent to the United States Senate. But suppose he steals only a few dollars and is sent to the penitentiary. He works hard for five years and when he comes out is given only enough money to pay his car fare home. I believe that he should simply be charged with the expense of his board and keeping and at the end of the five years he should be given what he has earned. This few hundred dollars would be a breastwork between him and temptation.

"I believe that home is the most sacred institution in the world. The family is the cornerstone of government and civilization. When any man loves and is loved in return, he is the richest man in the world; and no man even if he is a king and sways an empire, who does not love is anything but a failure—and a miserable cuss.

"There are dangers in this land which you know as well as I do. The greatest danger is the danger of elections. The mechanic and the farmer are sovereigns. Law is our king and ruler. The expressed will of the majority is supreme in this land. Any man who sells his right of suffrage is guilty of treason to the state. The man who sells his vote should never be allowed to vote again. Nor should the man who buys a vote ever be permitted to cast his own vote again. It is a crime against our government and treason to the people.

"Some people say this country is becoming over populated. Look at the valley of the Mississippi, on your map; see its vast tributaries, note the Ohio, the Missouri, the Arkansas, and the Yellowstone. There is room for five hundred million people in this valley and they will be fed as well as the people are today. This country can support 750,000,000 people as well as 65,000,000. I know the immigrants who come here are sometimes ignorant, but did you ever stop to think how intelligent the children of these same men will become?

"I was born in Yates County fifty-six years ago. Although, I have never seen it until yesterday, since I moved away, when three months old, I am glad to have been born in such a place. I went yesterday to see the house where I was born. I have never seen a finer country than you have around here. I am sure it is a good country to be born in.

"Let us again congratulate each other that we are fellow-citizens of such a grand republic. I want to see the day come when labor will be adequately rewarded, when there will be no more slavery, no more criminals nor penitentiaries, nothing but happiness. The only thing in the world worth living for is happiness. I want to see the day when, liberty, fraternity and equality, like the rings of Saturn, shall encompass and surround this world of ours."

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